Ex-haust-ed from work...*dead*

These past three days I have been thoroughly exhausted from work. Example: last night Stuart phoned about 9pm and I took the phone upstairs because the rents were having a barney. I got into bed because I was cold, which was a very bad idea. I nodded off for about five seconds while on the phone and then when we finished, I didn't want to move out of bed because I was warm and comfy and was planning to get up in thirty seconds...the next thing I knew it was nearly midnight. I had fallen asleep in my work clothes in my bed which was also not one of my greatest ideas because I was probably stained in patient pee.

Yesterday was hard work. Seriously hard work. They sent one of the guys from A&E upstairs to help us out but at the time, I didn't think we needed it. We only had a few medical patients (medical patients being classically confused, incontinent and difficult to wash on your own) and once washes are done, it's usually straightforward. So much for that thought. Although I can only remember washing two patients (I may have washed more) I spent the whole morning running around like an idiot. It didn't help that certain senior members of staff decided that they would sit in the office all day instead of looking after their patients, meaning that yours truly ran around carrying out virtually everyone's obs. I was also worked with "Too Posh to Wash" which also meant lots of scurrying around like a fricking idiot.

TPTW looked after a really sad case yesterday, which was unfortunate for the patient. The patient was a 26 year old woman who is basically dying of cancer. I say basically dying: we know that she is dying but I think that she and the family (which includes her baby son) are clinging onto hope that whatever treatment she is undergoing elsewhere is going to work. It really hits you over the head with how ungrateful you are. You know, I've seen people younger than that die so it shouldn't affect me as much. But this woman is probably never going to see her son grow up and is probably never going to marry her partner...and what is the worst part is that she is so close to my age. She is only 3 years old than me...I could be her (except, of course, that babies are not on the agenda for the next ten years!). She would probably do anything to be able to do the silly mundane things that we curse day in, day out. I had my first pang of...I don't know what to call it...really, really wanting to do anything to make that patient better. I will remember her long into my medical future.

I cannot be bothered to write anything else. *sigh* I need to run the hoover around a bit quick before the mothership arrives. She and Father Bear had a huge ding-dong over money yesterday. Huge bust-up, and I expect it'll be worse tonight. Trouble is, I can see both sides of the story so when they rope me in to vindicate either side, I also come out as the enemy. Puh. I need a cup of tea.