Right now, I should be in work. Right about now, my hastily arranged cover will be cleaning a trolley, emptying a sharps bin or maybe enjoying a well-earned cup of tea. In any case, I don't feel a twinge of guilt about it. In case you haven't guessed, I'm not sick.
For the second night on the trot I have phoned in sick, citing migraine (brought on by stress, dontcha know?) but I will go to work tomorrow. I'll go mainly because it will reflect better on me given that I have two weeks of annual leave starting on Wednesday and also because it's my last night shift until I don't know when. *happy smile* No, I'm not happy that it's my last night shift because I quite like nights, but I am glad for the annual leave and the opportunity to work days again. But that's tomorrow.
Tonight I have to stay up quite late and study. It's going to be quite a feat. I'm quite tired at the moment and the second I start looking at the function of the various pieces of the heart, my eyes are going to start getting heavy and I'm going to start dreaming of my bed. I have 14 double-page spreads get through before I feel like I've accomplished anything and I really don't feel like I'll hit 5. *sigh* We'll just see what happens.
The house is in turmoil at the moment. M is not speaking to D and vice versa. BtK is not speaking to M or D. I am speaking to everyone, I think. It all started because BtK didn't empty the dishwasher this afternoon before he went a-frollicking, and also because neither M nor D have a lot of patience with technology and/or each other. *sigh* Things will fix when Btk moves out, or when I move out and I don't have to experience it anymore.
I shall end with something that made me smile today: the Robinson advert with the bird. Pure class.
Monday 18 May 2009
Sunday 17 May 2009
Intro Post: 100 Q&As for shedcatwonders
1) Are you in a relationship with somebody? Yes, his name is Stuart and we are engaged. We have been together three and a half years next month.
2) Do you hate more than 3 people? I don't hate anybody, I just severely dislike people. And I severely dislike more than 3 people.
3) How many houses have you lived in? Houses: 7 Flats:2
4) Favorite candy bar? I am quite partial to a Crunchie, although it's a mood thing.
5) Favorite shoes? Probably my gold ballerina shoes.
6) Have you ever tripped someone? I don't think so, I wouldn't say I am malicious.
7) Least favorite school subject? Design & Technology.
9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD? Yes. More than one, actually. *shame*
10) Have you ever thrown up in public? Yes. I was about 14, at school and I'd had scrambled eggs for breakfast. We were walking from our registration period to our first lesson (R.E. I think) and had to walk past the corridor that had the kitchens at the end. They were making some sort of egg dish for lunch and it smelt fairly strong...moments later, I threw up in the corridor.
11) Name one thing that is always on your mind. Work. People at work, what they think about me, reliving conversations, planning arguments and debates with people where I come out on top and respected. Quite sad, really.
12) Favorite genre of music? I love many kinds of music and it really depends on the mood I am in. At the moment I am loving Yiruma, Beyonce and Kings of Leon.
13) What is your zodiac sign? Taurus.
14) What time were you born? 11:03pm.
15) Do you like beer? No.
16) Ever made a prank phone call? Sort of. I bleeped one of the doctors in work and put the callback number as the on-site car park office. The same night, the registrar encouraged us to continuously bleep her SHO. His bleep crashed. Switchboard were not amused.
17) What is the most embarrassing CD you own? Probably S Club 7 or Peter Andre. Some late 90s kiddie pop.
18) Are you sarcastic? Oh yes, despite it being the lowest form of wit.
19) What are your favorite colors?I don't have favourites, I love them all equally. Except beige and grey marl. Can't quite get around grey marl.
20) How many watches do you own? Not many. Two or three. I use my fob watch the most.
21) Summer or winter? Winter, because the fashions don't require excess amounts of flesh and you get to spend the evenings in, defending against the weather. And I love de-icing my car.
23) Favorite color to wear? I love wearing bright colours but I know that because of my colouring, I love good in greens and browns.
24) Pepsi or Sprite? Sprite.
25) What color is your cell phone? Pink.
26) Where is your second home? I haven't found it yet.
27) Have you ever slapped someone? Yes, but only playfully.
28) Have you ever had a cavity? Yes, I think I have one small one.
29) How many lamps are in your bedroom? Two: the lamp by the desk and the dawn simulator on the dressing table.
30) How many video games do you own? About 15. Three for the PS3 and the rest for the DS.
31) What was your first pet? Well, we had a black lab from before I was born until I was 6 but I don't remember her so my first pet was another dog that we had from when I was about 7 until I was about 22. Her name was Bonnie and she was gorgeous: a cross between a pedigree Chow Chow and a German Shepherd.
32) Ever had braces? Yes, and it is worth it. Even my orthodontist commented on how great my smile is.
33) Do looks matter? Unfortunately, they do. It's shallow but true.
34) Do you use chap stick? Now and again. Mostly in work.
35) Name 3 teachers from High School. Mr Evans: geography, form tutor and general slime bag after he put his hand down my friend's top. Mrs Robinson: law teacher and greatest teacher I've ever known. Mr Lander: maths teacher and serious, seriously bad crush. I saw him about three years ago in the job I had then and had to get someone else to serve him because I was so embarrassed.
36) American Eagle or Abercombie? What?
37) Are you too forgiving? Sometimes, usually because I hate fighting.
38) How many children do you want? Four boys: Caleb, Oliver, Edward and I can't remember what the other one is called. I will probably end up with three girls and they'll all hate me.
39) Do you own something from Hot Topic? Again, what?
40) Favorite breakfast meal? That's a mood thing. At the moment I like tea and biscuits. It's not very healthy but I'm back on Weight Watchers in two weeks so get over it!
41) Do you own a gun? No, because they aren't legal in Britain and for that I am *so* grateful.
42) Ever thought you were in love? The honest answer is no.
43) When was the last time you cried? I was a bit upset this afternoon because I had an argument with my parents and they said some awful things about me, like I'll never be a doctor.
44) What did you do 3 nights ago? I skived off college 3 nights ago. I hope I studied to make up for it.
45) Olive Garden? What?
46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy? Yes, when I was small. Not recently.
47) Have you ever been in a castle? I live in Wales...
48) Nicknames? Aims, Junior, Sammy, Sam, Phen.
49) Do you know anyone named Bertha? Well, there was a Bertha in Jane Eyre...
50) Ever been to Kentucky? No.
51) Do you own something from Banana Republic? No.
52) Are you thinking about somebody right now? No, because I am doing this quiz...
53) Have you ever called someone Boo? No.
55) Do you own a diamond ring? Yes, given to me at Xmas by my significant other.
56) Are you happy with your life right now? I am not where I want to be but I am happy with what I've got.
57) Do you dye your hair? No, but I am thinking of going blonde in order to look like Taylor Swift.
58) Does anyone like you? I hope so.
59) What year were you born? 1986.
60) What were you doing in May of 1994? I was 8 and we had just moved to Krefeld in Germany. After that I can't remember.
61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? Yes, three of them.
62) McDonalds or Wendys? McDonalds, and that's only if I'm desperate.
63) Do you like yourself? No, I want to change lots about myself. I want to be smarter, more pretty, fitter, skinnier, more assertive, more patient etc. etc. etc.
64) Are you closer to your mother or father? Mother, but pretty close to both.
65) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex? Hands and eyes. Use your head. *wink*
66) Are you afraid of the dark? Not explicitly.
67) Have you ever eaten paste? As in salmon paste? Yes. As in wallpaper paste? No.
68) Do you own a webcam? Yes, but I don't use it. I want a laptop with an integrated one. Not that I'd use it then but it would reduce some space.
69) Have you ever stripped? Yes, twice a day.
70) Ever broke a bone? No and I don't fancy it much either.
72) Do you chat on AIM often? No, I had a bad experience on Yahoo! Chat the other night and won't be repeating it any time soon.
73) Pringles or Lays? Pringles, hands down. Once you pop, you can't stop!
74) Have you ever broken someone's heart? I don't think so.
75) Rugrats or Doug? Rugrats. Ah, retro cartoons....
76) Full House or The Brady Bunch? Neither.
77) Did you like your high school guidance counselor? Can't remember and careers advisors are always rubbish. It's the law. The college one tried to persuade me to go into occupational therapy. I can't think of anything more grim.
78) Has anyone ever called you fat? Yes and in three weeks I am going back to Weight Watches and onto the Couch to 5k program.
79) Do you have a birth mark? No.
80) Do you own a car?Yes, it's my second car and it's lovely. It is called the Frog.
81) Can you cook? I can make a decent pasta bake and a good chocolate cake but I'm working on stellar mashed potato. If I was on death row, I'd have homemade mash with cheese as my last meal.
82) 3 things that annoy you: My brother's refusal to accept he is wrong, he is lazy etc. My own lack of self-discipline. Celebrities like Kerry Katona and Katie Price, who have no talent except somehow managing to sell newspapers.
83) Do you text message often? Not as much as my peers and I always feel out of touch for not being a texting fiend.
84) Money or love? I should say love but I'm not certain.
85) Do you have any scars? I have one across my stomach where I had a hernia repaired as a toddler. I also have a scar on my knee from taking the rubbish out and someone has put a broken glass in there. I also have a scar on my left forearm which everyone thinks is a burn from work/from the oven at home but is actually self-harm
86) What do you want more than anything right now? To be in medical school, accepted by my peers and away from real life.
87) Do you enjoy scary movies? No, but I'll watch them.
88) Relationships or one night stands? I can see the fun in both.
89) Big Red or Juicy Fruit? Pass.
90) Do you enjoy greasy food? You cannot beat a Chinese, like I had last night. You just can't. Or good British chips and gravy.
91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies? No but I can sing the theme tune.
92) Do you own a box of crayons? No. My creativity stretches to the piano and that's it.
94) Who was the last person that said they loved you? My mother, post-fight.
95) Who was the last person that made you mad? My mother, mid-fight.
96) Who was the last person that made you cry? My mother, mid-fight.
97) Who was the last person that made you laugh? One of the Blackadder guys: "Treat your plane as you treat your woman. Get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back." Priceless.
98) Who was the last person that you fell for? There are plenty of cute doctors and nurses at work and I quite like one of the porters but I haven't been heart-sinkingly attached to someone since my significant other.
99) Who was the last person that instant messaged you? Can't remember.
100) Who was the last person that called you? My fiancee.
2) Do you hate more than 3 people? I don't hate anybody, I just severely dislike people. And I severely dislike more than 3 people.
3) How many houses have you lived in? Houses: 7 Flats:2
4) Favorite candy bar? I am quite partial to a Crunchie, although it's a mood thing.
5) Favorite shoes? Probably my gold ballerina shoes.
6) Have you ever tripped someone? I don't think so, I wouldn't say I am malicious.
7) Least favorite school subject? Design & Technology.
9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD? Yes. More than one, actually. *shame*
10) Have you ever thrown up in public? Yes. I was about 14, at school and I'd had scrambled eggs for breakfast. We were walking from our registration period to our first lesson (R.E. I think) and had to walk past the corridor that had the kitchens at the end. They were making some sort of egg dish for lunch and it smelt fairly strong...moments later, I threw up in the corridor.
11) Name one thing that is always on your mind. Work. People at work, what they think about me, reliving conversations, planning arguments and debates with people where I come out on top and respected. Quite sad, really.
12) Favorite genre of music? I love many kinds of music and it really depends on the mood I am in. At the moment I am loving Yiruma, Beyonce and Kings of Leon.
13) What is your zodiac sign? Taurus.
14) What time were you born? 11:03pm.
15) Do you like beer? No.
16) Ever made a prank phone call? Sort of. I bleeped one of the doctors in work and put the callback number as the on-site car park office. The same night, the registrar encouraged us to continuously bleep her SHO. His bleep crashed. Switchboard were not amused.
17) What is the most embarrassing CD you own? Probably S Club 7 or Peter Andre. Some late 90s kiddie pop.
18) Are you sarcastic? Oh yes, despite it being the lowest form of wit.
19) What are your favorite colors?I don't have favourites, I love them all equally. Except beige and grey marl. Can't quite get around grey marl.
20) How many watches do you own? Not many. Two or three. I use my fob watch the most.
21) Summer or winter? Winter, because the fashions don't require excess amounts of flesh and you get to spend the evenings in, defending against the weather. And I love de-icing my car.
23) Favorite color to wear? I love wearing bright colours but I know that because of my colouring, I love good in greens and browns.
24) Pepsi or Sprite? Sprite.
25) What color is your cell phone? Pink.
26) Where is your second home? I haven't found it yet.
27) Have you ever slapped someone? Yes, but only playfully.
28) Have you ever had a cavity? Yes, I think I have one small one.
29) How many lamps are in your bedroom? Two: the lamp by the desk and the dawn simulator on the dressing table.
30) How many video games do you own? About 15. Three for the PS3 and the rest for the DS.
31) What was your first pet? Well, we had a black lab from before I was born until I was 6 but I don't remember her so my first pet was another dog that we had from when I was about 7 until I was about 22. Her name was Bonnie and she was gorgeous: a cross between a pedigree Chow Chow and a German Shepherd.
32) Ever had braces? Yes, and it is worth it. Even my orthodontist commented on how great my smile is.
33) Do looks matter? Unfortunately, they do. It's shallow but true.
34) Do you use chap stick? Now and again. Mostly in work.
35) Name 3 teachers from High School. Mr Evans: geography, form tutor and general slime bag after he put his hand down my friend's top. Mrs Robinson: law teacher and greatest teacher I've ever known. Mr Lander: maths teacher and serious, seriously bad crush. I saw him about three years ago in the job I had then and had to get someone else to serve him because I was so embarrassed.
36) American Eagle or Abercombie? What?
37) Are you too forgiving? Sometimes, usually because I hate fighting.
38) How many children do you want? Four boys: Caleb, Oliver, Edward and I can't remember what the other one is called. I will probably end up with three girls and they'll all hate me.
39) Do you own something from Hot Topic? Again, what?
40) Favorite breakfast meal? That's a mood thing. At the moment I like tea and biscuits. It's not very healthy but I'm back on Weight Watchers in two weeks so get over it!
41) Do you own a gun? No, because they aren't legal in Britain and for that I am *so* grateful.
42) Ever thought you were in love? The honest answer is no.
43) When was the last time you cried? I was a bit upset this afternoon because I had an argument with my parents and they said some awful things about me, like I'll never be a doctor.
44) What did you do 3 nights ago? I skived off college 3 nights ago. I hope I studied to make up for it.
45) Olive Garden? What?
46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy? Yes, when I was small. Not recently.
47) Have you ever been in a castle? I live in Wales...
48) Nicknames? Aims, Junior, Sammy, Sam, Phen.
49) Do you know anyone named Bertha? Well, there was a Bertha in Jane Eyre...
50) Ever been to Kentucky? No.
51) Do you own something from Banana Republic? No.
52) Are you thinking about somebody right now? No, because I am doing this quiz...
53) Have you ever called someone Boo? No.
55) Do you own a diamond ring? Yes, given to me at Xmas by my significant other.
56) Are you happy with your life right now? I am not where I want to be but I am happy with what I've got.
57) Do you dye your hair? No, but I am thinking of going blonde in order to look like Taylor Swift.
58) Does anyone like you? I hope so.
59) What year were you born? 1986.
60) What were you doing in May of 1994? I was 8 and we had just moved to Krefeld in Germany. After that I can't remember.
61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? Yes, three of them.
62) McDonalds or Wendys? McDonalds, and that's only if I'm desperate.
63) Do you like yourself? No, I want to change lots about myself. I want to be smarter, more pretty, fitter, skinnier, more assertive, more patient etc. etc. etc.
64) Are you closer to your mother or father? Mother, but pretty close to both.
65) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex? Hands and eyes. Use your head. *wink*
66) Are you afraid of the dark? Not explicitly.
67) Have you ever eaten paste? As in salmon paste? Yes. As in wallpaper paste? No.
68) Do you own a webcam? Yes, but I don't use it. I want a laptop with an integrated one. Not that I'd use it then but it would reduce some space.
69) Have you ever stripped? Yes, twice a day.
70) Ever broke a bone? No and I don't fancy it much either.
72) Do you chat on AIM often? No, I had a bad experience on Yahoo! Chat the other night and won't be repeating it any time soon.
73) Pringles or Lays? Pringles, hands down. Once you pop, you can't stop!
74) Have you ever broken someone's heart? I don't think so.
75) Rugrats or Doug? Rugrats. Ah, retro cartoons....
76) Full House or The Brady Bunch? Neither.
77) Did you like your high school guidance counselor? Can't remember and careers advisors are always rubbish. It's the law. The college one tried to persuade me to go into occupational therapy. I can't think of anything more grim.
78) Has anyone ever called you fat? Yes and in three weeks I am going back to Weight Watches and onto the Couch to 5k program.
79) Do you have a birth mark? No.
80) Do you own a car?Yes, it's my second car and it's lovely. It is called the Frog.
81) Can you cook? I can make a decent pasta bake and a good chocolate cake but I'm working on stellar mashed potato. If I was on death row, I'd have homemade mash with cheese as my last meal.
82) 3 things that annoy you: My brother's refusal to accept he is wrong, he is lazy etc. My own lack of self-discipline. Celebrities like Kerry Katona and Katie Price, who have no talent except somehow managing to sell newspapers.
83) Do you text message often? Not as much as my peers and I always feel out of touch for not being a texting fiend.
84) Money or love? I should say love but I'm not certain.
85) Do you have any scars? I have one across my stomach where I had a hernia repaired as a toddler. I also have a scar on my knee from taking the rubbish out and someone has put a broken glass in there. I also have a scar on my left forearm which everyone thinks is a burn from work/from the oven at home but is actually self-harm
86) What do you want more than anything right now? To be in medical school, accepted by my peers and away from real life.
87) Do you enjoy scary movies? No, but I'll watch them.
88) Relationships or one night stands? I can see the fun in both.
89) Big Red or Juicy Fruit? Pass.
90) Do you enjoy greasy food? You cannot beat a Chinese, like I had last night. You just can't. Or good British chips and gravy.
91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies? No but I can sing the theme tune.
92) Do you own a box of crayons? No. My creativity stretches to the piano and that's it.
94) Who was the last person that said they loved you? My mother, post-fight.
95) Who was the last person that made you mad? My mother, mid-fight.
96) Who was the last person that made you cry? My mother, mid-fight.
97) Who was the last person that made you laugh? One of the Blackadder guys: "Treat your plane as you treat your woman. Get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back." Priceless.
98) Who was the last person that you fell for? There are plenty of cute doctors and nurses at work and I quite like one of the porters but I haven't been heart-sinkingly attached to someone since my significant other.
99) Who was the last person that instant messaged you? Can't remember.
100) Who was the last person that called you? My fiancee.
Wednesday 6 May 2009
Stress
I feel very stressed at the moment. Very, very stressed, actually...much more than I think I realised before I sat down to write this.
I am actively procrastinating from studying because there is so much to learn and so very little time in which to learn it. I have...well, I was trying to calculate the amount of work to get through but I can't. It's just too much, and I've entered that "I don't really care!" phase which is deadly, given that this time is the very last shot and if August results are crap, I'm off to nursing. And I hate nursing. I could spend tonight planning how to spend my remaining weeks but it will be a pointless exercise. I will endeavour to study until around about 1am, but given that it's already past 11pm, I don't think it'll be very productive.
Giving myself the weekend off turned out to be the worst thing I did. I mean, I know I couldn't realistically work on my birthday but still, I had Monday off which extended into Tuesday and before I knew it, it was Wednesday and I was still in my PJs at 6pm and therefore not attending college...Tomorrow will be a fresh start. At least, I'm saying it will be, but I don't know if I believe myself. Plus, tomorrow I have to phone work (another source of stress) and then I have to go and see Mrs Lewis (another source of stress) and then I have college (another source of stress)...
More stress...this situation at work. I feel like I'll end up rolling over and playing dead. I phoned HR today and it turns out that nothing has been done and she has come back to work without so much as a bop on the nose. I had to have informal counselling for what I said; she makes to attack me and is let back to work with sympathy all round because of her personal circumstances. Grr. J is still off sick, the rep has disappeared off the face of the planet and I know that WH just wants to sweep this under the carpet. I am worried though...more worried than I want to be but I can't help it. I don't feel like anybody is on my side.
Then there's this whole business about the house and how I feel about moving out and my poor parents...I feel so guilty about it and also very...like a child who literally doesn't want to leave their mother. The Mothership has been whinging about the time the Boyf spends looking for homewares, calling it it effeminate, despite the fact that I am just not interested.
I started this entry and now Yahoo! Messenger wants me to close it...
I am actively procrastinating from studying because there is so much to learn and so very little time in which to learn it. I have...well, I was trying to calculate the amount of work to get through but I can't. It's just too much, and I've entered that "I don't really care!" phase which is deadly, given that this time is the very last shot and if August results are crap, I'm off to nursing. And I hate nursing. I could spend tonight planning how to spend my remaining weeks but it will be a pointless exercise. I will endeavour to study until around about 1am, but given that it's already past 11pm, I don't think it'll be very productive.
Giving myself the weekend off turned out to be the worst thing I did. I mean, I know I couldn't realistically work on my birthday but still, I had Monday off which extended into Tuesday and before I knew it, it was Wednesday and I was still in my PJs at 6pm and therefore not attending college...Tomorrow will be a fresh start. At least, I'm saying it will be, but I don't know if I believe myself. Plus, tomorrow I have to phone work (another source of stress) and then I have to go and see Mrs Lewis (another source of stress) and then I have college (another source of stress)...
More stress...this situation at work. I feel like I'll end up rolling over and playing dead. I phoned HR today and it turns out that nothing has been done and she has come back to work without so much as a bop on the nose. I had to have informal counselling for what I said; she makes to attack me and is let back to work with sympathy all round because of her personal circumstances. Grr. J is still off sick, the rep has disappeared off the face of the planet and I know that WH just wants to sweep this under the carpet. I am worried though...more worried than I want to be but I can't help it. I don't feel like anybody is on my side.
Then there's this whole business about the house and how I feel about moving out and my poor parents...I feel so guilty about it and also very...like a child who literally doesn't want to leave their mother. The Mothership has been whinging about the time the Boyf spends looking for homewares, calling it it effeminate, despite the fact that I am just not interested.
I started this entry and now Yahoo! Messenger wants me to close it...
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